14.7.08

El compromiso

- He quedado con el carpintero en mi local a media mañana. Te haré una visita cuando llegue. Primero he de pasar por casa de mis padres para cambiarme. Llevo dos días con la misma ropa.
Siempre que ella hacía puntualizaciones de ese tipo, él pensaba que era un modo de decirle que aunque no se quisieran deberían regular su situación, pero él no se atrevía a dar el primer paso por miedo a ser rechazado, aunque también por el temor a que ella decidiera trasladarse en seguida. Sólo el 50% de sí, quizá el 40, deseaba vivir con Teresa. A la otra mitad le gustaba estar sola, pero parecía imposible complacer a las dos. Una vez, hacía tiempo, le confesó estas dudas a una mujer que le dijo que eso era miedo a comprometerse. Pero era miedo a comprometerse con la parte libre. La otra lo estaba deseando. Quizá Teresa, pensó, también tuviera dos mitades, pues cuando daba un paso en la dirección del comrpomiso solía caer en una tristeza honda, de la que costaba mucho rescatarla. Lo deseable, se dijo con una sonrisa, sería llegar a acuerdos por zonas: esta parte se casa contigo, pero esta otra permanece debajo de la cama. Venía a ser lo mismo que decir podrás entrar en todas las habitaciones de mi casa, menos en la del fondo del pasillo. Trató de imaginar cómo se sentiría él si Teresa le hiciera una propuesta de ese tipo. ¿Necesitaría violar la prohibición? ¿Y con qué parte de sí, la ocupada o la libre? Lo cierto es que los dos tenían una región secreta a la que el otro no podía acceder, pero se trataba de un lugar sin geografía, de un país sin territorio, incluso sin una lengua propia, sin constitución, sin historia.

No mires debajo de la cama - Juan José Millás

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